Feedback and some concepts

We presented the animatic (posted in previous post) for the class and the tutors today and got some more feedback on the story. It seems like it's working, or it's close. We have some timing issues on the jokes and what needs to be emphasised more. The animatic we posted has not got any of the actual camera angles, staging or cuts that will be in the actual film since it was a bit rushed in order to get it done by the lecture. So according to the tutors we should be able to go with this story, it just needs to be "snappier" and timed better. We are also wondering about looking into an issue that Siobhan mentioned in a e-mail she sent us about the story; "Show not tell where it is possible", so we might try and get rid of some dialogue and replace it with actions instead. Will give us a chance to do some funny scenes animation-wise too. The story as it is seems to have potential according to the feedback we got so we just nee to figure out how to tighten it up a bit more.. It's not very funny at the moment, but we are doing a full day of work on this and any other issues tomorrow. After class we had a short group-chat and decided that we could work on concept/artwork by ourselves today. I decided to do some situation drawings for the characters (still pretty rough, but a lot more detail than I drew in the animatic):